I’m not a dietitian, but if you eat pizza right at midnight your body doesn’t know if the calories go towards yesterday or today so they don’t count.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

My morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired I am.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Countries are just gangs with paperwork.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Overheard the most hilarious conversation on my morning commute, then realized it was just me talking to myself in my car.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

I could never abuse substances, they mean a lot to me.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

76% of pardoned turkeys end up back in the system.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

A moth is just a butterfly with glasses and its hair up.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

People say I act like I don’t care. It’s not an act.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I love sleeping. You don’t spend any money and you don’t miss anyone.