Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the mysterious ways of pizza calories and midnight munchies 🕛🍕✨ Who knew our bodies had a built-in time-travel feature for guilt-free indulgence? Dietitians everywhere, probably."

body, calory, count, diet, dietitian, eat, eating, food, humor, joke, know, midnight, pizza, right, today, yesterday

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21 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just because your parents planned you doesn’t mean you weren’t a mistake.

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Late replies don’t bother me. As long as we’re not in love, or you don’t owe me money, take your time.

77 shares on Pinterest this month:

If I say I love you, it’s just the apocalypse talking.

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

My weight loss journey is just the three hours in between meals.

54 shares on Twitch this month:

Why are fish the only thing you can monger? Let me monger some other stuff.

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

97 shares on Pinterest this month:

Liking sports is great because you’ll have a bad day, then here your team comes to make it worse.

54 shares on Threads this month:

Bruschetta is 80% delicious and 20% mess.

78 shares on Messenger this month:

Hey boy, are you the sun? Because you were a big part of my life this summer but now I feel like I never see you.

63 shares on Discord this month:

Love to go to hipster restaurants and eat half a grilled cheese off an old license plate.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

I would just once like to feel as powerful as a toddler throwing their sippy cup whilst sitting atop their high chair.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

The fun thing about Airbnb is that you get to clean someone else’s house on your vacation.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Thinking of you while I’m chopping onions.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Twitter is basically everyone’s therapist’s couch.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok.” Well, I just made some shit up, and people believe me because I’m well read and use big words.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Hug your children as often as you can. They can’t break things during this time.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Thanks for leaving my door open; I was running low on houseflies.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Why spend like $300 Dollars on a pair of shoes? Do you know how many chicken nuggets you can buy with that money?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Sometimes life is “Eat, pray, love,” and sometimes it’s “Scroll, snack, overthink.”

Breaking via Instagram:

Cops wake up Christmas morning excited as hell to ignore their family and go sit on the highway with a radar gun for 10 hours.

Seen just now on Facebook:

A wise man once said: “Yes, darling. You’re right.”

Just shared via TikTok:

My ducks are not even remotely in a row. My ducks are in places no duck has ever gone before.

Going viral on Telegram:

“You look happy.” Thanks, I stopped dating.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Why do moths eat sweaters? Have they tried sandwiches or avocados?

Shared recently on Messenger:

I have found that there is usually a lot of day left at the end of my patience.

Live now on Discord:

My mirror needs a screenshot button.

Trending via Messenger:

Friendly reminder that someone having a different opinion about a movie than you is a direct attack on you as a person and you should take it very personally.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m not a dietitian, but if you eat pizza right at midnight your body doesn’t know if the calories go towards yesterday or today so they don’t count.

The part where the music beat is going from your left ear to the right at different intervals.

Is it stupid and irresponsible? Yes. Will it make me happy? Also yes.

Baby, no job is ever that serious for you to be a work snitch.

I’m pretending to be a hot girl on Tinder so I can match with my roommate and tell him I’m coming over, so he’ll clean the apartment.

I’m old enough to remember when regular websites were usable.

When God created the giraffe, he probably slipped with the mouse on the screen. This is how its neck was created.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m not a dietitian, but if you eat pizza right at midnight your body doesn’t know if the calories go towards yesterday or today so they don’t count.

Keep the laugh going 😂

The part where the music beat is going from your left ear to the right at different intervals.

Is it stupid and irresponsible? Yes. Will it make me happy? Also yes.

Baby, no job is ever that serious for you to be a work snitch.

I’m pretending to be a hot girl on Tinder so I can match with my roommate and tell him I’m coming over, so he’ll clean the apartment.

I’m old enough to remember when regular websites were usable.

When God created the giraffe, he probably slipped with the mouse on the screen. This is how its neck was created.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨