Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I’m not saying Lois Lane is a bad investigative journalist, but my friend Greg didn’t wear glasses to work yesterday and I recognized him by lunch time.
  • Toothpaste sure knows how to ruin whatever you’re drinking.
  • I like to begin every day by looking forward to the end of the day.
  • I may look fine on the outside, but on the inside I’m hungry again.
  • Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.
  • Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.