Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

They can steal your recipe, but the sauce won’t taste the same.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

I always tell my kids that it’s okay to make mistakes just as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Hey bro, please stop using all the good skipping rocks at the river.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I’m out in public and I have to look down real quick to make sure I remembered to put on pants.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

People pleasers aren’t kind. They’re afraid.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

When you’re a snowman, everything smells like a carrot.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,941

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

Two reasons you never date at work: 1. HR frowns upon it. 2. Your partner gets super pissed.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I don’t know much, but I do know melancholia is a way cooler diagnosis than depression.

Just landed via Reddit:

I don’t know if I’m pregnant or what, but I’ve been craving 3 million dollars so bad.

Just shared via TikTok:

What can I buy my wife for Valentine’s Day that finally proves to her once and for all that I have absolutely no idea what she likes or who she is?

Seen just now on Facebook:

I love cutting off Teslas. Like you may not let me merge over but your car sure as hell will.

Spotted on Reddit:

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

Spotted on TikTok:

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here making love.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Nothing good happens on the credit card after midnight.

The worst part about getting sucked up by the tornado you’re filming is to die knowing your wife was right. You are an idiot.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who knew being proven wrong could be so disastrous? 🌪️💨💔 #EpicFail"

die, filming, getting, humor, idiot, irony, knowing, regret, right, tornado, wife, worst, worst part

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Spider-Man, but set in rural England so he just has to walk everywhere.

0

2 months ago

countryside, england, everywhere, humor, just, rural, rural England, setting, Spider-Man, superhero, transportation, walk
Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

0

2 months ago

experience, festival, fortune, fun, homeless, humor, irony, live, living, pay, person
Blood pressure too high to chase these hoes.

0

2 months ago

blood, blood pressure, chase, dating, health, high, hoe, humor, pressure, relationships, stress
Young people are too young nowadays. Back in the good old days, young people were my age.

0

2 months ago

age, back, days, gap, generational, generational gap, good, good old days, humor, nostalgia, old, people, perspective, too, young, youth
Y’all made fun of Plankton on Spongebob for dating a computer, and look at y’all now.

0

2 months ago

computer, culture, dating, fun, humor, irony, made fun, Plankton, pop, pop culture, relationship, Spongebob
Hey, you wanna come to a wedding with me? You could be the groom.

0

2 months ago

date, groom, humor, humor quote, invitation, joke, me, social, wedding

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

Nicole Kidman being in a film called Babygirl is actually perfect cause it’s like another version of her last name.

79 shares on Facebook this month:

This can’t be the same brain I was using to read 750-page novels in 3 days during middle school.

94 shares on Discord this month:

Y’all smell that? A beautiful day that the Lord has made.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

Being skinny may be nice, but chicken nuggets are even nicer.

29 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

99 shares on Threads this month:

Underrated life skill: only doing what feels genuinely right and letting everything else go.

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

19 shares on WeChat this month:

I love when people say, “It is what it is,” like they just discovered stoicism.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Bieber”.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

It’s like 10,000 steps when all you need is a nap.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

If I got a Dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Some people are living bowel movement to bowel movement.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Having a job is cool, but everyday? Come on!

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

I am writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

I bet this email finds you silently screaming on the inside.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Many people love saying, “Get these away from me,” after eating a few chips.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

When I was young I fixed my parents’ computer and now that I’m older I fix computers for my kids. Are we the only generation that knows how computers work?

Seen just now on Facebook:

Nothing like a meteor shower to remind you that burning out can still be breathtaking.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

Broadcasted on Threads:

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

Going viral on Snapchat:

And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

Making waves on Telegram:

Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.

Just landed via Twitch:

My body can’t handle the stress of loving anyone romantically, ever.

Spotted on Reddit:

When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it.

Just landed via Instagram:

The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.

Live now on TikTok:

I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The worst part about getting sucked up by the tornado you’re filming is to die knowing your wife was right. You are an idiot.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Spider-Man, but set in rural England so he just has to walk everywhere.

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

Blood pressure too high to chase these hoes.

Young people are too young nowadays. Back in the good old days, young people were my age.

Y’all made fun of Plankton on Spongebob for dating a computer, and look at y’all now.

Hey, you wanna come to a wedding with me? You could be the groom.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨