Wordgag 🎅

Commentary:
"Self-checkouts are like a mini adventure – scanning, bagging, and hoping that bonus item sneaks through without the machine noticing! 🤣🛒 #StealthyShopper #ScanAndDash"

always, convenience, efficiency, fear, free, humor, much, people, quick, retail, scared, self-checkout, shopping, something, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

0

5 months ago

away, boyfriend, chase, child, dating, flirting, humor, i, men, rejection, relationship, started, telling
The man who invented the Ferris wheel never met the man who invented the merry-go-round. They traveled in different circles.

0

1 month ago

amusement, amusement park, circle, different, ferris, Ferris wheel, humor, inventor, man, merry-go-round, met, never, park, wheel, wordplay
Who needs an alarm clock when you have a bladder.

0

1 month ago

alarm, alarm clock, bladder, clock, humor, morning, morning routine, needs, routine, waking, waking up
Who called it an undertaker and not a host mortem?

0

2 months ago

death, host, humor, irony, mortem, undertaker, wordplay
My plan is to die young as late as possible.

0

1 month ago

dark, dark humor, death, die, humor, humor statement, late, life, longevity, philosophy, plan, statement, wit, young
We should be able take jets and tanks and stuff whenever we want, we paid for them.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, entitlement, humor, jets, military, paid, payment, satire, should, stuff, take, tanks, want, whenever

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

Now I understand why old people sit outside just to sit outside.

25 shares on WeChat this month:

I would love to be normal, but unfortunately, I was raised by the internet and a microwave.

91 shares on Reddit this month:

Money saved by using public transport instead of an Uber is paid for with your time and mental health instead.

100 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Me, as a vampire: Tell me, mortal, have you had any alcohol in the last 24 hours?

24 shares on Snapchat this month:

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

100 shares on TikTok this month:

You think you’re raising your kids right, and then one of them decides to be a fan of your football team’s arch rival.

93 shares on YouTube this month:

If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. It’s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.

53 shares on X this month:

I don’t need therapy. I need everyone who’s ever wronged me to suddenly feel a chill and not know why.

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Most insane people live outside of madhouses.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Eating cookies left for Santa because the cowboy was a no show.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

The real hack is pouring all that lover girl energy into yourself.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

My favorite unit of measurement is smithereens.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

I want to be cremated so that I will get a smoking-hot body again.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Men be like, “That’s my dream girl,” then ruin her perspective of love forever.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

We often come across people in life who make us think: “Oh look, evolution takes a break too!”

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Too many types of pasta. I can say my fav is Fliccaroni and not one of you can be sure if it’s real. Look at you googling it.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

Mario Kart gave me unrealistic expectations of how banana peels affect traffic.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Let’s skip the getting-to-know-you phase. Just block me.

Breaking via Telegram:

My sleeping cycle is completely backwards. In the morning I feel sleepy and at night I can’t fall asleep.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Can I just skip to the part in my life where I’m rich and happily in love?

Making waves on Messenger:

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

Just shared via YouTube:

Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

You want to go out in the sun and then you can’t get the couch through the door.

Trending via Slack:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with much of anything these days.

Shared recently on TikTok:

For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.

Freshly posted on X:

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Why are people always so scared of self-checkouts when shopping? It’s much quicker and you always get something for free.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

The man who invented the Ferris wheel never met the man who invented the merry-go-round. They traveled in different circles.

Who needs an alarm clock when you have a bladder.

Who called it an undertaker and not a host mortem?

My plan is to die young as late as possible.

We should be able take jets and tanks and stuff whenever we want, we paid for them.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨