Maybe your baby is crying because he knows you don’t have rizz.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Spotify wrapped is like my annual mental health report and it’s getting worse by each passing year.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

“Out of sight, out of mind” doesn’t work for donuts.

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The next James Bond should be weird. Like he wears a train conductor’s hat and is afraid of balloons.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Going through life with a signature I invented as a teenager.

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Just as “magic spells” use special rhymes and archaic terms to signal their power, the convoluted language of legalese acts to convey a sense of authority.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

How do you react when you see someone you respect on an e-scooter?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Sometimes when I get negative feedback I’m like “Hey, only I get to talk to myself that way”.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

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I already want to take a nap tomorrow.