I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Sorry I was late, I was frantically applying to other jobs.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

I’m not gaining weight, I’m retaining candy.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Bring me a higher love. You have 24 hours. No cops.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

“You are what you eat”. I don’t remember eating a huge disappointment.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Remember it’s Christmas. You need to check your elf before you wreck your shelf.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

My curse was lifted. Do you want to hang out?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

I am half agony, half hope.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Uber Eats “you forgot to finish your order” notification is funny because I didn’t forget, I just came to my senses.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Oh you won a gold medal at the Olympics? My watch just congratulated me for standing up.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Did you know on the Canary Islands there is not one canary? And on the Virgin Isles? Same thing – not one canary there either!