The word “misread” can be misread as “misread.”

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January 1st: anything is possible. January 2nd: but not today.

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Growing old is a process of saying “it’s probably nothing,” with increasing frequency and increasingly being wrong.

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It’s completely absurd that Silicon Valley is pushing AI on us before they figured out how to keep fries fresh for longer.

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The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

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Sorry I’m late, my dog was sleeping in the shape of a donut and I had to take so many photos.

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The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

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The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an ‘egosystem’.

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I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

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When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

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Drilling for oil is well boring.