An interviewer asked me how well I can perform under pressure; I said I’m much better at Bohemian Rhapsody.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

I bet my soulmate is out there somewhere pretending everything is fine.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

My nephew asks so many questions that Alexa just told him it’s okay to bathe with the toaster.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Hair is washed. I am finally lovable and capable of loving again.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Of course I do cardio. It’s called running from my problems.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Anyone got any good sins for someone just getting into sinning?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Diarrhea. Having it. Spelling it. Everything about it is shit.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Just because I’m friendly doesn’t mean I like you. It just means that I’m not rude.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m begging for a day to be added in between Saturday and Sunday.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

If I honk at this person, maybe it will make them a better person.