Tequila won’t fix your life, but it’s worth a shot.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Partying hard on this Friday night, and by partying hard, I mean laying on my bed starfish-style.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

I like people who make me forget that I’m shy.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Are you there, bathroom walls, ceiling, floor, mirror, sink, and towels? It’s me, the kids toothpaste.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Companies post open positions online and then ask you why you applied to them.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

About to form my very first opinion.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I’m not deleting my Twitter, I was here before Elon.