Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can get sleep paralysis.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

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Considering joining a cult just for the subsidized housing.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Some of us better hope Santa doesn’t check social media, because if he does, all we’re getting for Christmas is therapy.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.

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How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

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If my memory gets any worse, I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.

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I like to begin every day by looking forward to the end of the day.

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You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, let them sip on their own bland brew.

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I’m not climbing a hill if I’m dying. That sounds terrible. I’ll die on this chair. Drinking orange Fanta.