If I say “with all due respect,” nothing respectful is about to come out of my mouth.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

How quickly family vacations go from “Omg, we only have 4 days left” to “Omg, we still have 4 days left”

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

It’s crazy people waste their time with hobbies and family when there are strangers on the internet who need to be argued with.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

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Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Sticking googly eyes on a potato and introducing him to everyone as my new boyfriend.

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It’s generally a good idea to start punching and throwing elbows immediately upon waking up because there may be enemies nearby.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Seems like paleontologists always have a bone to pick.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Fitbits are just Tamagotchis, except the stupid animal you’re trying to keep alive is you.