Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

I’ll call it a smartphone when I yell “Where’s my phone?” and it yells back “Down here in the couch cushions!”

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

I love when people say “be yourself,” like I haven’t already been doing that and scaring everyone off.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Every morning I wake up and think I have a hangover, but then I realize I didn’t drink, and this is just how I feel now.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

The worst thing you can do while cleaning is sit down for a minute.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

If I could do it all over again, I would ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

The empty side of your bed is for books and chocolate, not for liars who snore.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

I don’t “make friends”. I get adopted by extroverts and they make me do things.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

I set up my Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, Mary, Joseph and all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Hello 911? Yes, my wife is forcing me to walk over to meet the neighbors.