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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

What’s a good career for people with no motivation or talent?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Why are they called “grammar Nazis” and not “the Gestypo”?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

You ever feel awkward in Target, cause you know you belong at Walmart.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

My tombstone will read “Hey there, I’m using WhatsApp!”.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Jesus, I need money to organize your birthday.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

I’ve left my past behind me, so if I owe you money, sorry, I’ve left it behind me.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

I’m going to get some steel wool so I can crochet myself a new car.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1869 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,031

Funny Quotes Topics

14,821

Funny Quotes Images

12,031

Updated

27 seconds ago

Users Online

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

I dunno what I did in a past life but holy crap I’m sorry.

Making waves on Pinterest:

If you think one of my posts is about you, it isn’t. Except this one.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

Going viral on Telegram:

Being awake is the worst.

Making waves on Facebook:

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Toasters aren’t governed by that little dial. They have free will.

Just landed via Telegram:

Hot singles in your area! They don’t want to talk to you. But they’re there.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Incense sticks are just disappointing sparklers.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to pull all nighters.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Fish must think we look so weird with both eyes on the front of our face.

I bought a “How to Be Spontaneous” course… it starts in six months.

I bought a “How to Be Spontaneous” course… it starts in six months.
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Commentary:
Planning the perfect spontaneous moment—who knew it was a skill? 🤔✨ Wait, when do we start again? 😅📅

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1869 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,031

Funny Quotes Topics

14,821

Funny Quotes Images

12,031

Updated

27 seconds ago

Users Online

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $2 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst birthday presents ever.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

You come from dust and you’ll return to dust, so that’s why I never dust. It could be someone I know.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

I used to have a great future in my past.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I want a hot body, but I also want hot wings.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

My passport probably thinks I’m in prison.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

The house from Hansel and Gretel but made out of tacos.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say “sure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android.

Seen just now on Discord:

I like to listen to the national anthems during the award ceremonies. I’m into country music.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

Seen just now on X:

Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.

Trending via Pinterest:

Get a puppy if you are in the market for a best friend who gets you up early so she can bite you excitedly.

Making waves on Reddit:

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

Making waves on Facebook:

In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

The world would be a better place if mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood.

Trending via Twitch:

Unsolicited sandwich pics.

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