Sometimes all you need is a Saturday to sleep, eat, and do absolutely nothing else all day.

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Gonna run this by my two best friends who are as insane as I am.

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If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.

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You can tell a lot about a person by breaking into their home and going through their belongings.

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I recently saw a documentary about dinosaurs. They simply ate everyone they didn’t like. I like that concept.

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Lasagna has never broken my heart. Just saying.

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Tried to pull off a smokey eye, ended up looking like I went three rounds with McGregor.

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I decided not to go for a run today because of the weather, but mostly because of the running.

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The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

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You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, let them sip on their own bland brew.

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Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.