Another day waiting, and wishing, and wanting.

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Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

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Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

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Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

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You can make friends in a doctor’s waiting room as long as you have something broken and not something coughing.

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Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

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Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.

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I love how all the movies about teenagers have to be set in the 90s or earlier otherwise we’d just be watching kids on their phones for two hours.

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Unfortunately, I will continue to get sexier and funnier.

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Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the jungle!” The jungle: “No more humans, please!”

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Sometimes I want to sleep, but my brain decides to do a little tap dance through every mistake I’ve ever made, instead.