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I’m so thankful I had a childhood before technology took over.

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My kid’s superpower is knowing he wonโ€™t like a food before he even tries it.

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I donโ€™t have a nervous system, I am a nervous system.

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Hairless cats look like the devil screwed up a possession.

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I would like you to meet my significant other. Her name is Cheese.

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Salad was likely invented after someone picked everything they didn’t like out of their meal and put it on a separate plate.

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Iโ€™m not a perfectionist. Iโ€™m more of a good-enoughist.

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No, thanksโ€”social drama. Puberty sucked enough the first time around.

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Internet strangers offer the best advice.

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I hate checking my bank account after having a good time.

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I bet my soulmate is out there somewhere pretending everything is fine.

I bet my soulmate is out there somewhere pretending everything is fine.

Commentary:
Sounds like my soulmate is in the Witness Protection Program of love! ๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™€๏ธโค๏ธ

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