Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Happy return of “yes of course it’s bedtime, see how dark it is outside” to all parents who celebrate.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to exacerbate things. That would just make things worse.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Insomniacs who are not afraid of the dark have nighty-night problems but the pitch ain’t one.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

My grandmother is a shining example of how you can live until 90 years of age, sustained by nothing but spite and biscuits.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

God: “You’re all really bad at this.”