Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

I could tell by the way she was pouring gasoline on a pile of my clothes that the relationship had hit some turbulence.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Everyone’s a gangster until they have to say sorry.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Mood to play music louder than my thoughts.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Sometimes the laugh is funnier than the joke itself.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

You didn’t get fired, your job “fumbled you”.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Strangers vomiting their beliefs all over you every day is not good for the soul.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.