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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Of all the things to lose, why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

When is a robot gonna take over my job? Please?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Twitter is Iike the smoking area for social media.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Country music is for men who need a little help crying.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Plot twist: weed is addicted to me.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Dear autocorrect, that’s not what I was trying to say. I’m getting tired of your shirt.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1837 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,999

Funny Quotes Topics

14,798

Funny Quotes Images

11,999

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

If they played poker with potato chips, I’d have a gambling problem.

Live now on TikTok:

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

Just landed via Reddit:

Jesus rose from the grave because he forgot to clear his browser history.

Spotted on Reddit:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s an extra chin.

Just shared via Slack:

You know what goes great with helping your kid with math homework? Vodka!

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I concern myself with the opinions of sheep because they are cute.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I’m going to hell in every religion.

Spotted on Messenger:

It’s exciting to receive a Valentine’s Day card and not know who it’s from. A Father’s Day card, not so much.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Not gonna lie, the age I’m turning this year sounds a little serious, and I don’t like it.

If you think I’m funny, you should hear the voices in my head.

If you think I’m funny, you should hear the voices in my head.
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Commentary:
Having a committee meeting up there every day 🤪🧠😂

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1837 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,999

Funny Quotes Topics

14,798

Funny Quotes Images

11,999

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Even though he murders a lot of people, you can tell Freddie Kruger is a fun loving guy cause he goes by Freddie and not Fred or Frederick.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Anyone who wants to learn how to be humble, feel free to talk to me. There’s nothing like learning from the best.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Building a snowman so I can punch it in the face.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Sending your selfies to NASA because you’re a star.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

That moment when you cut into a seedless watermelon and find out it’s only allegedly seedless.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

I realized being an adult is just feeling too tired to function, and then functioning.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Every guy wants to be called Daddy till that test comes back positive.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

They should make a tanning bed that constantly rolls you over like a gas station hotdog.

Reported on Twitch:

Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’m not superstitious because it brings bad luck.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Can’t. Just put my hair in a bun and that’s just about enough exercise for today.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Guys will say, “I know a spot,” and then take you on a downward spiral.

Just landed via Facebook:

I love hard, but I stupid harder.

Reported on Pinterest:

I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, but I’m still very cute. Just to keep you updated.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I wonder what the part of my brain that used to store people’s phone numbers is doing now.

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