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Dudes be named Will but wonโ€™t.

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I wanna be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have some new ideas.

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They all cheat, lie and manipulate. Just pick the pretty one.

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I’m so bored of being bored, because being bored is really boring.

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Hotel towels are always the worst. So thick and fluffy that I can’t even close my suitcase.

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“Age is just a number!” Yeah, the older I get, the number I feel.

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Expecting your first babyโ€™s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

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Hopefully it won’t be as bad as it already is.

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If stores want to accurately display clothes for people over 40, the mannequins should be laying on a couch.

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I need an emergency cheeseburger.

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Just realized when I get a partner, that means my family is gonna know that I have feelings.

Just realized when I get a partner, that means my family is gonna know that I have feelings.

Commentary:
Guess it's time to admit to the fam that I'm not a robot ๐Ÿค–๐Ÿ’–

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