I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Why did they call it painting your toenails and not graffeeti?

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Some days you’re the quick brown fox and other days you’re the lazy dog.

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Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

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The plant app says that I either watered my plant too much or not enough. Very helpful. Thanks!

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I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

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I suppose the supreme discipline for ninjas is sneaking up with flip flops.

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Someday I will make a sandwich that will change my life forever.

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I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

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Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

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People who don’t have a dishwasher, where do they bang their shins?