Next time I feel butterflies, I’m chugging down a bottle of tequila so they drown.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

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At this point of my celibacy, I can see the same colors as mantis shrimp. What do you know about blorange and gurple?

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Adulting looked way more affordable in the 90’s. I feel scammed.

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I don’t like to call it a xenomorph — I prefer the term “the alien from Alien.”

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

You may find my attraction to Goofy weird, but I don’t give a hyuck.

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Went to the grocery store hungry. I didn’t need to pay rent this month anyway.

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Vatican City should be called Popenhagen.

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I’m at the age where I can remember things that never happened.

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When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

I take issue with furniture that deliberately moves 1 inch when you’re in a rush to get by.