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Why have abs when you can have kebabs?

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I heard you like bad girls. Well, Iโ€™m bad. At everything.

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Instead of screaming into the void, I’m going to ask it for recipes.

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Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.

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Whoever came up with the name wallpaper really nailed it.

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I Knew Better, But I Did It Anyway: A Memoir

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The worst thing about wearing headphones is when you hallucinate people shouting you. Like, why does this happen?

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They lie on the job descriptions, so lie on your resume.

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Every group chat has that one person who never replies, and it’s me.

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They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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