I’m the type of idiot to be loyal during the talking stage.

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Me driving at night: I hope this is the road!

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I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

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It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

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The audacity of someone being in the store aisle I want to go down.

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Absolutely destroyed my bed last night… I cuddled those covers so hard.

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Candy cigarettes really used to be a thing and we really bought them and walked around like we were smokers at the tender age of 6.

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I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

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Everyone’s a gangster until it’s time to pronounce Worcestershire Sauce.

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I think I’ll spend my savings on a lifetime supply of pasta. Worth every penne.

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Stop worrying about being weird and start being weirder.