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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

I always knew I’d get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ด has shared:

Everybody hates me for being a beautiful angel with a perfect soul.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has copied:

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ท has viewed:

Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ผ has copied:

Wait. We’re now turning plants into burgers? Haven’t cows been doing that like, forever.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has viewed:

You give my middle finger an erection.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฟ has downloaded:

Ugh, those red and blue flashing lights are interfering with my driving and scrolling.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ณ has viewed:

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ด has bookmarked:

I’m so thankful I had a childhood before technology took over.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has bookmarked:

How long past date can I eat eggs? Like are they still good or am I naming them now?

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

1830 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,992

Funny Quotes Topics

14,796

Funny Quotes Images

11,992

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,452

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Iโ€™m too old to be jingling all the way, Iโ€™ll jingle til about five thirty.

Making waves on Pinterest:

They say time is the solution to every problem. I’ve been waiting for five hours already and the room is still messy.

Spotted on Telegram:

I have a very particular set of useless skills.

Just landed via Reddit:

Iโ€™m ready for a new relationship. My past is buried in the backyard, to fertilize the tomatoes.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

Making waves on WeChat:

The government even made aliens boring.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, youโ€™d almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

Trending via Telegram:

Autocorrect has become our worst enema.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Everyone thinks they will be the first person in history to maintain their dignity while posting online.

Just landed via Discord:

Iโ€™ve realized about a third of my life is spent trying to ignore the fact that I have to pee.

We should bring gargoyles back, more buildings need freaky little guys on them.

We should bring gargoyles back, more buildings need freaky little guys on them.
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Commentary:
Can't wait for the next architectural trend: spooky rooftop roommates! ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿ‘น

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

1830 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,992

Funny Quotes Topics

14,796

Funny Quotes Images

11,992

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,426

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ด has viewed:

Dear recipe websites. I donโ€™t need your life story. Just give me the recipe.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ญ has shared:

Dear brain, please stop thinking so much exactly when it’s time to fall asleep.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง has copied:

I forgot to take my meds so I’m looking forward to joining the squirrels in the tree to talk politics.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

The first thing you learn to draw in art school is money from your parents bank account.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has downloaded:

You havenโ€™t experienced proper anger until you have a sister.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has copied:

Women love it when you approach them on the street and say “whoa, is there a hot babe convention in town?”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ช has viewed:

Contrary to what we currently believe, we donโ€™t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ด has viewed:

Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? โ€™Cause your husbandโ€™s out here acting like you donโ€™t exist.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has viewed:

They should make a separate airport for people who know how to act like theyโ€™ve been out in public before.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ท has bookmarked:

When gearing up for a mountain climbing adventure it is important to remember to no.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Going viral on YouTube:

Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I bought some coconut shampoo today. I got halfway home before I thought, โ€œI don’t even have a coconut!โ€

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Sorry, I’m late. Time isn’t real, and I’m not convinced I am either.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

If my neighbors would just talk a little louder I could follow along with their conversation, but no. Rude.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

My step counter doesn’t judge. For him, steps to the fridge are just as valuable as a walk.

Going viral on Slack:

Stay an extra hour in the office and no one cares. Arrive a few minutes late and everyone loses their minds.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I wish I loved anything as much as people love to say they are โ€œthrilledโ€ on LinkedIn.

Just shared via WeChat:

That awkward moment when everything is going so perfectly… and then you wake up.

Just shared via Instagram:

A beaver is an otter that has studied architecture.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Speaker phone in public should be illegal.

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