After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Why do guys named Timothy go by Tim when they could go by Moth?

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Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. Like Wednesday.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

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We often come across people in life who make us think: “Oh look, evolution takes a break too!”

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

You don’t scare me. You’re not the evil eye I get from my dog when I make him get up from the couch so I can lay down.

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When there’s food around, our cat is like an adorable, fluffy shark circling round.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

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Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

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Sweet, but twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?

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That’s me in the corner, that’s me using Microsoft Word, losing my revision.