The problem with believing that nothing matters except you, is that eventually everyone will just leave you alone to take extra special care of yourself.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Every time your mom tells you that she wants the best for you, she is talking about me.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

When I eat rotisserie chicken, I like to pretend that I’m performing an autopsy.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

I’m not “late”, I’m just very creative with my interpretation of “time”.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

This meeting could have been a painting in a museum of boredom.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Weirdos gonna weird.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Do you ever restart the dryer because you don’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Nothing has paid off less than learning to do the Macarena.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Maybe the reason you haven’t found your soulmate is because you don’t have a soul.