I’m going crazy, y’all. Coming with me?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Keeping a picture of my bed in a locket around my neck and staring at it longingly on my lunch break.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Women only want one thing and it is to walk down a dimly-lit cobblestone street with the devil.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Whoever first said, “I’m in a pickle,” must have had the weirdest day.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Some call it flirting… I call it just being extra nice to someone who is extra attractive…

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

If you can’t handle me at my worst just imagine how I feel.