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If they’re called leggings, why is your stomach in there?

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They said don’t try this at home, so I’m coming over to your place.

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I don’t like this new trend of old people wearing shirts of bands I listened to when I was a kid.

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Walking up to any crime scene and whispering within the crowd, “It’s started again, hasn’t it?” then leaving.

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When you see a squirrel, you’re bound to say, “Awww, a squirrel!”

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Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

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Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

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I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.

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I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

11:00 am – Anything is possible. 3:00 pm – But not today.