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Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¬ has bookmarked:

Kids these days don’t know the shame of having to explain yo-yo injuries.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡§ has shared:

If white men can’t jump, how do you explain Super Mario?

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡΄ has viewed:

A lot of childhood characters weren’t so much beloved as there wasn’t anything else on the TV.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡Ώ has bookmarked:

Human interaction is a great way to learn all the new swear words your subconscious mind has come up with in the lab.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡· has copied:

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡± has shared:

I need you to put the fun in refund!

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ή has copied:

Your pronouns should be get/help.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡² has copied:

Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡ͺ has shared:

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

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1814 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,976

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14,779

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11,976

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Social Media Log πŸ’«

Spotted on Instagram:

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

Reported on YouTube:

I’ve got a couple of eyebrow hairs that want me to be a villain.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

With me, it isn’t Netflix & chill. It’s Prime & panic.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I do not read.

Just shared via Threads:

How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?

Live now on Facebook:

First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.

Just shared via YouTube:

You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

Making waves on Telegram:

It’s a beautiful day to ignore your existing problems and create new ones.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I love when people say “be yourself,” like I haven’t already been doing that and scaring everyone off.

Just worked out for 2 hours straight and 1 hour gay.

Just worked out for 2 hours straight and 1 hour gay.
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Didn't know my workout playlist could change my orientation! πŸŽΆπŸ‹οΈβ€β™‚οΈπŸŒˆ

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Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

1814 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,976

Funny Quotes Topics

14,779

Funny Quotes Images

11,976

Updated

1 second ago

Users Online

3,451

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡ͺ has bookmarked:

My greatest aspiration is to one day solve a murder on a train.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡± has bookmarked:

They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡³ has bookmarked:

Old and bitter feels much better than I thought it would.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡² has viewed:

Half the world is mentally ill. The other half is to blame.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡΄ has shared:

I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡― has downloaded:

Sunday without HBO feels like a meal without carbs β€” empty and deeply wrong.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Ή has viewed:

If you’re going to give me some food for thought, it had better be a pizza, or I’m out.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¨ has downloaded:

Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡» has copied:

Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡² has downloaded:

Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Live now on Instagram:

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

Reported on WeChat:

Think like a crazy person, and then you’ll understand.

Freshly posted on Threads:

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

Trending via TikTok:

Remember you are dust and, after you send this email, to dust you shall return.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’m uncomfortable around tall people. What if they pick me up and put me on their shoulders?

Freshly posted on Threads:

I don’t like the person I become when I’m alone in the break room with a box of donuts.

Just landed via Reddit:

No better feeling than getting home and realizing you forgot the one thing you went out for.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

Spotted on Telegram:

I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

Just landed via Instagram:

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

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