I don’t know who needs to hear this, but I think people who say ‘I don’t know who needs to hear this’ know exactly who needed to hear it.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40’s: it’s ten years of people saying “wait until you’re 50”.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Listen, before I had my coffee I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today either.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Today marks a five year anniversary of how I’ll start going to the gym tomorrow.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

With no training whatsoever, I took out myself and the other two people exiting the ski lift in one fell swoop.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Who called it an undertaker and not a host mortem?