I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

If the universe is continuing to expand then why does my rent keep going up?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Dating is so overrated. Let’s just get married.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Since there are no other Vulcans on the enterprise and the crew has no comparison, Spock could be and probably is bullshitting them most of the time.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

A camel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, you can’t bring your own drinks in here!”

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

If you ever go backpacking in the wilderness, be sure to wear corduroy pants, so you can start a fire if needed.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.