Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Actually, it’s illegal to be upset if you make a date on Halloween and they ghost you.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

The recipe I’m making specifically says “allow to cook undisturbed,” and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Why do chefs always have to cut everything so fast? It’s just an onion man, why don’t you relax?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Just caught a moth and sent it back outside. Feeling like Mr. Miyagi.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.