Dating apps are no place for meeting your soulmate. The best way to find your soulmate is to tweet really good.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

I can clean the whole house if I want to, but if someone asks me to do it, suddenly I’m lazy.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s always better than if you do it yourself. It’s the same with sex.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

When you have intense chemistry with someone, everyone else feels so bleh.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

My favorite part about going camping is the part where I stay at home, and I don’t go camping.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Does anyone know how to lower the difficulty setting on my life?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

I hate being responsible for my own meals because I’ll either spoil myself or starve for most of the day.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?