As a man, it’s my job to mistake kindness for flirting.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

This year has been the perfect blend between me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode the bikes when we were young.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

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Before Facebook, we would hold people hostage inside our homes by showing them photo albums of our vacation.

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I should’ve been an air conditioner because all I do is vent.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.

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Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

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I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy, I can’t even close my suitcase.