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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡ͺ has bookmarked:

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡§ has viewed:

My dad thought Siri would be more helpful finding a lemon ricotta recipe if he used an Italian accent.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡· has bookmarked:

Just remembered why I went upstairs yesterday.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ has bookmarked:

I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Ώ has shared:

Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ύ has shared:

Cocktails can be tricky, because they taste like juice, but then the next thing you know… you can’t walk.

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡² has downloaded:

If I got a Dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡¦ has viewed:

Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as β€œinteresting.”

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡― has bookmarked:

My diet was going really well until I woke up.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ή has copied:

Sorry I can’t carpool to work. That’s the time I use to angry scream.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

Updated

3 hours ago

Users Online

3,447

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Live now on Messenger:

Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Men don’t eject their eyes from their sockets and yell awooga anymore.

Breaking via Telegram:

Why would I get married when it’s a well-known fact that only 50% of all marriages end in divorce?

Making waves on WeChat:

Ironic that the two Ζ‘’s in “cooperate” insist on having their own separate sounds.

Making waves on Messenger:

Dear brain, please finally learn the difference between hunger and boredom. I’m getting fat.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Sometimes the whole point of going out is to then really savor coming back home.

Going viral on Instagram:

Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account?

Seen just now on Twitch:

Sunrises are really beautiful, but the timing is rather bad.

Broadcasted on Threads:

The inventor of archery: Man, I really wanna stab that guy over there.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Aura farming in front of old people by not listening to music nor checking my phone.

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).
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Commentary:
When you're a master chef in your own kitchen and somehow broke at the same time πŸ₯‘πŸ’ΈπŸ‘©β€πŸ³.

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

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Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

Updated

3 hours ago

Users Online

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month πŸš€

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡³ has downloaded:

Drive like no one is watching.

Someone from πŸ‡ΆπŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

Being an adult is when you ask the babysitter when you should be home.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ή has downloaded:

Plot twist: weed is addicted to me.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡± has downloaded:

The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ή has viewed:

Santa: “Don’t leave me milk. Leave me whiskey.”

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Ώ has downloaded:

Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡­ has bookmarked:

I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ύ has downloaded:

Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¬ has downloaded:

Captain America taught me that I just need to take performance enhancing drugs to be loved by everyone.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Έ has downloaded:

My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Freshly posted on Threads:

If you’re looking for a quiet place to talk to yourself, my DMs are open.

Seen just now on WeChat:

If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.

Trending via YouTube:

Have you tried complaining about it?

Trending via Pinterest:

Partying hard on this Friday night, and by partying hard, I mean laying on my bed starfish-style.

Just shared via TikTok:

Being weird never goes out of style.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!

Making waves on WeChat:

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Everybody thinks β€œFree Hugs” signs are cute, unless you’re a boa constrictor.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.

Breaking via Snapchat:

β€œYou’re a psychopath!” At least I’m on a path, babe, sort your life out.

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