It’s the weekend, so naturally, I’m going to spend 48 hours doing nothing, and still be exhausted.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Hiring a mortician to do my makeup while I sleep.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

“I’m getting tired of everything being 100 dollars and 100 degrees.”

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

I have re-entered the Band of Brothers rewatch stage of male depression.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

As long as you’re still fishing fruit flies out of your drink, you’re not drunk.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Sick of people thinking the Midwest is just a bunch of small towns and cornfields when they forgot it’s also a lot of road construction, inconsistent weather, and deer that jump in front of your car.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

But what if I don’t want someone that’s good for me?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

One man’s worst nightmare (me) is another man’s peace (also me).