In an effort to keep our house clean before Thanksgiving, I’ve asked my family to go live somewhere else.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Thought I would mix things up today and sit in a new spot on my couch. Absolute chaos over here.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

This is my emotional support online shopping cart.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Slapping the TV remote on your knee extends the battery life. It’s science.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

If kids these days had a perfume, it would be called Audacity.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Don’t bother telling me where you’re from, I have no geographical knowledge and no sense of direction.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

We need a word for that weird feeling you get when you learn what a podcaster looks like.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

I don’t think anything good will ever happen again until people feel bad about being stupid again.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

The websites that let me check out as a guest are the real heroes.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an ‘egosystem’.