Who’s your favorite horror director? Mine’s God.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Today I was in a taxi, and the taxi driver said, “I love my job. I am my own boss, nobody tells me what to do!” Then I said, “Turn left.”

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Divorcing my wife to focus on my porn addiction.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Telling my parents they’re like family to me.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

I’m not talking to my husband and I don’t think he even knows it.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

I’m not drinking 2% milk until we figure out what the other 98% is.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Can we call situationships ‘affairs’ again? It sounds more adult and less desperate.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.