Nothing bad can happen while you’re under a blanket. Just remember that.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

People drive you insane and then say “see, I told you that you’re insane.”

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Shutting up is gluten-free. Maybe add that to your diet, princess.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

I’m soirée for my mispronunciation of French words.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

My husband cleaned the kitchen for the first time in years. He’s in the living room, dressed in a suit, waiting for the award ceremony to commence.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Stop dating if you have no car.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

For someone who is afraid of failure, I’m very unmotivated.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

I hate it when I’m gossiping at work and a customer wants to be served. How rude is that?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

They don’t put cars in malls anymore, like they used to.