My ducks: in a row. My elephant: addressed. My eggs: several baskets. My bigger fish: fried.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

My favorite part of The Godfather is when the guy wakes up and screams because the Mafia has stolen the bottom half of the horse he keeps in his bed.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

You don’t see people giving bunny ears in photos anymore.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Jobs be asking me for 3 references, and I think I might start doing the same. Like, let me talk to 3 happy employees, please.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Unfortunately, I don’t give ugly men a chance, because they wouldn’t give me one if I were the ugly one.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

At the grocery store, progressively booing louder as the clerk scans each item.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I used to think that the older you get, the wiser and more self-confident you become. I now know that you just get tired more quickly.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

I’m just a crazy person looking for a crazy person who finds me completely normal.