I wish I could physically experience the inside of a lava lamp.

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When someone is in a Christmas eve panic, I always find that “well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner” is a helpful phrase.

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Mrs. Doubtfire is my favorite movie about violating a custody agreement.

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Sending messages is easy. Living with them forever is the hard part.

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It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

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Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

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“23 and Me” is how Leonardo DiCaprio RSVPs for events.

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If you think voting is pointless wait until you hear about writing posts here.

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A credit card is kind of like a gift card to every store.

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Are French bulldogs actually French? They seem kinda Puerto Rican.

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Dads were right. Walking around with your hands behind your back and looking at everything around with a mild look of disgust and annoyance is so much fun.