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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

“Slipping in the shower and trying to hold on to the water jet…” Shall I tell you more about myself?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Is it still murder if they said, “Some other time,” but I thought they said smother time?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Ok, I cheated in school, but I did it the hard way and without AI.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need a special occasion to buy a cake.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Does anyone know if there’s a career in being a piece of shit?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

My doctor told me “good luck” and gave me finger guns, so obviously I’m dying.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Is it socially acceptable to wear pajamas all day if you’re constantly holding a coffee cup?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy growing new neural pathways to make space for a stranger’s opinion. Evolution takes bandwidth, man.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

4,003

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

Doggy style is out cat style is in. It’s where I let you touch me until I’m satisfied then ignore you and scratch you if you try and touch me again.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Why is judge the only job where you can bang a little hammer to make people shut up? I’ve needed that in literally every job I’ve had.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Can’t argue with a guy that has curly hair. Whatever you say, gorgeous.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.

Making waves on Telegram:

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

Shared recently on Telegram:

My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

Live now on Reddit:

“Do it scared!” Thanks, but I have done everything scared. When is it my turn to do it calm?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it.

Spotted on Threads:

l identify as a Christmas tree. Lit on the outside, dead on the inside.

Shared recently on Threads:

Polar bears drinking Coca Cola is my favorite holiday vibe.

Watching a movie and subtitles not syncing is low-key pain.

16 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When the subtitles start freelancing, even the movie gets confused! 🎬🧐😂

frustration, movie, pain, subtitle, subtitles, syncing, watching

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

The Internet is fun because you can post about banana bread and somehow end up in a fight.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Holiday dinners with family are like real life boss levels with the worst loot.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

No one flirts better than a guy who’s not interested in you.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

I don’t have any patience because it takes too long.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Doggy style means I get a treat afterwards, right?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

The volume of my TV is 100% dependent on what I’m currently chewing on.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Listen to the birds, not the news.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

My Wi-Fi is stronger than my will to socialize.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Discord:

Sunday night: Super Bowl party! Monday morning: Toilet Bowl party!

Spotted on Discord:

Doing all of this just to die in the end! LMAO!

Going bananas on Instagram:

If your man cheats on you, dump him and date his dad, make him your step son.

Trending via Discord:

Boxes of pasta don’t need a plastic window. I believe pasta is in the box.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Instead of writing letters, let’s wait a week before texting each other back so it still feels like it.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

My favorite color is money.

Just shared via WeChat:

The T in depression stands for the therapy places that are immediately available.

Going viral on TikTok:

I’m at the age where I won’t make eye contact with someone because they look like a “talker.”

Spotted on Twitch:

One thing I have noticed about getting older is having to stop for a short nap halfway through scrolling down to my year of birth when completing online forms.

Just shared via YouTube:

To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Watching a movie and subtitles not syncing is low-key pain.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

My red flag is that I don’t make playlists on Spotify. I just add every song I’ve ever liked to the ‘Liked Songs’ playlist and shuffle that, like an iPod.

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

Autocorrect has become our worst enema.

Debugging is like being the detective in a crime where you are also the murderer. Following the clues of an idiot.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I was going to cause mischief tonight, but I climbed into my bed instead.

Reverse cowgirl because you made me mad, and I can’t even look at you right now.

Channeling my inner pretzel to achieve expert-level bad posture.

There should be 1 day a month without commercials.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.

Just because you are unique, doesn’t mean you are useful.

I like that they put all that stuff outside for you to look at when you’re on a walk.

Unfortunately for the both of us, I really like you.

I aspire to be a stay-at-home mom with no kids.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.

Maturing is when you’d rather drink your bourbon half-naked on the couch than go out.

Almost fell asleep while putting on the sweater because it got dark for a moment. That’s all you need to know about my morning state.

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

My Christmas letter this year includes a bonus DVD of my colonoscopy.

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Watching a movie and subtitles not syncing is low-key pain.

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