I would do absolutely anything to get 8 hours of sleep, except for going to bed 8 hours before I need to wake up.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Lorebombing is when you make a new friend in your thirties and you have to catch each other up.

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Social anxiety so bad I wonder if I’m welcome at places I was invited to.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Group projects in school weren’t meant to teach you teamwork, they were meant to teach you how to deal with the incompetence of your coworkers in the workplace.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it.

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Even a broken shrimp fries rice twice a day.

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I feel like I should give my air conditioner a plaque for employee of the month.

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Mercury is no longer in retrograde, so never trust a cow because the sun can’t swim.

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Shade coming from a tree bearing no fruit could never phase me. Carry on.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

A Tinder type app, but it matches you with sandwiches.