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Youโ€™re never alone. There’s mold.

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Some women seated next to me are gossiping in French. They obviously think Iโ€™m some dumb American who doesnโ€™t speak French and they are correct.

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Nothing more dangerous than an ignorant man who thinks he is a genius.

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If I don’t text you saying Happy New Year, we still gang, Iโ€™m just lazy.

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My brain has too many tabs open and one of them is playing music I can’t find.

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I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

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Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

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I don’t argue anymore. I just agree and let the plot unfold.

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Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

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If you find my upper lip mole sexy, wait till you see the dark spot on my MRI.

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Every time I do something stupid, my dad stares at my mom like he wants a refund.

Every time I do something stupid, my dad stares at my mom like he wants a refund.

Commentary:
I guess my dad's still trying to find the receipt for the 'me' package ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ˜‚



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