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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ซ has shared:

The only thing stopping cheesecake from being a breakfast food is you.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฏ has shared:

You donโ€™t need a therapist, you need an exorcist.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has viewed:

At what point in not being able to sleep do I throw the towel in and have a beer, since maybe that will help?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has viewed:

Humidity is great because then people think it’s not my fault that my hair looks like this.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ผ has shared:

Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if weโ€™re not talking.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡พ has downloaded:

Due to intense brain fog all of my thoughts have been grounded until further notice.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has viewed:

God’s plan for me is super weird so far.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ท has downloaded:

Icarus loved hot wings.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has bookmarked:

If you have children, you can experience all human emotions before 9 a.m. on Sundays.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has bookmarked:

It’s not sleeping alone if there are crumbs in your bed.

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Carrying my phone from room to room like a Victorian woman and her lantern.

Carrying my phone from room to room like a Victorian woman and her lantern.

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Trying to avoid ghosts of bad WiFi past! ๐Ÿ“ฑ๐Ÿ”ฆ๐Ÿ˜‚



Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ธ has viewed:

I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ณ has bookmarked:

Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ผ has bookmarked:

I like online shopping and putting everything I want in a cart, then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has shared:

They say it is hard to look at lips that you are not allowed to kiss. You do not know how hard it is to look at a face that you are not allowed to hit.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฑ has viewed:

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡น has downloaded:

There is a giant spider on my dash so Iโ€™m going to have to buy a new car now.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ช has copied:

If we’ve got the technology to make heated car seats, then where the hell are the seats that automatically cool down in the summer? Make it happen, nerds.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ has copied:

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡พ has copied:

The streets are not for me. I belong in an enchanted forest, eating berries, and talking to my animal friends.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ท has shared:

When Iโ€™m not posting or returning messages, just know that Iโ€™m probably out doing superhero shit.