Wordgag ใƒ„

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has copied:

I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ญ has copied:

My therapist said cutting people off isnโ€™t healthy. Sheโ€™s next.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has bookmarked:

I smoke weed for my mental health and your personal safety.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ธ has copied:

Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ด has copied:

“Iโ€™d rather hurl myself into an active volcano!” -me, politely declining dates.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ธ has copied:

If I donโ€™t duck my head when I drive into the parking garage, whatโ€™s gonna keep my car from hitting the ceiling?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ด has copied:

Professor, set the time machine for right now. I’m trying to be more present.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡น has bookmarked:

If cats could send Christmas cards, they wouldn’t.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฏ has viewed:

If I say, “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared peer-reviewed research, data, and charts, and I will destroy you.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has viewed:

No one is more surprised than my kids every night when I say it’s bed time.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

1663 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,825

Funny Quotes Topics

14,652

Funny Quotes Images

11,825

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Young people are too young nowadays. Back in the good old days, young people were my age.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

Just shared via TikTok:

The first 7 days of the week aren’t for me.

Just landed via Messenger:

That depressing moment when you start your car to go to work and it doesnโ€™t explode.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Please stop assuming that too many em dashes mean AI written. Some of us are producing grammatically incoherent work the honest way!

Trending via YouTube:

My reality check bounced, guess Iโ€™ll have to stay insane for the time being.

Just shared via Facebook:

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

Trending via Threads:

The one thing to know about me is I always get the last laugh. And oh yes, it’s maniacal.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

OK, just so everybody’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.

Making waves on Telegram:

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

The only joke my mom ever made was me.

The only joke my mom ever made was me.
Download image โ†“

Commentary:
Well, if life is a comedy, then you must be the star ๐ŸŒŸ! Don't worry, your mom's joke might just be her way of acknowledging your uniqueness ๐Ÿ˜œ. Remember, you're one of a kind, just like that one-liner ๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿ‘งโ€๐Ÿ‘ฆ!

, , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes ๐Ÿค

Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ‘‡

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ“ˆ

Hot Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ”ฅ

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

1663 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,825

Funny Quotes Topics

14,652

Funny Quotes Images

11,825

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฐ has bookmarked:

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ผ has bookmarked:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ธ has downloaded:

Nike: Just Do It! Me: I don’t want to.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ท has bookmarked:

I feel like I’m in jail when I’m around unfunny people for too long.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ด has viewed:

I am like a wildflower, a quiet rebellion blooming through ruins and dust.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ด has bookmarked:

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ช has bookmarked:

I’m off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฏ has downloaded:

People should be allowed to leave work early if they want to go see a movie.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has bookmarked:

One of my favorite parts of grocery shopping is when somebody else does it for me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ป has bookmarked:

Who called it America and not the fast food and the furious?

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Just shared via Twitch:

Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Taking a guy from skinny jeans to linen trousers, thatโ€™s my way of giving back to society.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Iโ€™m not fragile like a flower. Iโ€™m fragile like a bomb.

Freshly posted on Slack:

That moment when you realize โ€œyeah, this person is never gonna hear from me againโ€ is so crazy.

Broadcasted on X:

My sister: snowboards. My brother: skateboards. Me: charcuterie boards.

Trending via Facebook:

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

Spotted on YouTube:

Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.

Making waves on Instagram:

If I’m ever murdered, I don’t want two women with a podcast solving the case in their spare time.

Making waves on Discord:

Iโ€™m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I was told to be more optimistic so Iโ€™ve decided french fries arenโ€™t bad for me.

Share Wordgag ๐Ÿ™

ยฉ 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with โค๏ธ in Sydney โ˜€๏ธ๐ŸŒด