The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Some things are better left alone, like me, for instance.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

I get ignored so much, my name should be “terms and conditions”.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

People are like lottery tickets, most of them are losers.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

If I could go back in time, I’d probably stop Bruce Willis from saving us from that asteroid.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

English is so fake. How can you drink a drink, but you can’t food a food?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Having a daughter is like having a little broke best friend who thinks you’re rich.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

If you drink a lot of water, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

You call it nagging, I call it ‘listen to what I said the first time!’

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Due to personal reasons, I will be screaming into a pillow.