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Commentary:
"Who needs an alarm clock when you have a cup of coffee strong enough to create a caffeine buzz loud enough to rouse the entire block? The neighbors might not thank you for the early morning wake-up call, but hey, at least they'll be wide awake!"

beverage, coffee, humor, morning, neighbor, strong, wake

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Therapy should be free and accessible because getting traumatized is free and accessible.

5 months ago

accessibility, care, free, free service, getting, health, humor, mental, mental health, psychology, self, self-care, service, should, therapy, trauma
I’m cold! That’s not goose bumps anymore, that’s woodchip wallpaper.

2 months ago

bump, cold, goose, goose bump, humor, wallpaper, woodchip
Several of my internal organs hurt, but I’m 100% sure it’s not my body trying to tell me something.

2 months ago

body, humor, hurt, internal, irony, me, organ, organs, pain, something, sure, tell, trying
A car window made specifically for a dog to stick its head out of is called a sunwoof.

1 month ago

accessory, car, car window, dog, dog travel, funny term, head, humor, pet, pet accessory, stick, sunwoof, term, travel, window, wordplay
My whole life just flashed before my eyes and there was way too much pizza.

2 months ago

eyes, flash, food, humor, just, life, pizza, whole
Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

1 month ago

adult, adult life, adulthood, communication, digital, digital communication, Gmail, life, media, routine, social, social media, turn

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Divorce is so weird. Why do I have an ex-aunt?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

One of my greatest strengths is appearing busy so people don’t try to speak to me.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Twitter is basically a psychiatric ward where all the patients diagnose each other.

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I’m having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Called in, “If we’re living in a simulation, just simulate that I’m in the office today.”

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

Quit keeping your enemies closer. No wonder you feel like shit.

Making waves on Threads:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Are you the one with commitment issues or the one with low self-worth?

Seen just now on Messenger:

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

Broadcasted on Discord:

Today’s toddlers can switch on laptops and use apps. When I was little, I ate sand.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I travel like I’m rich, then eat like I’m broke.

Shared recently on Twitch:

If I could be in two places at once, I’d be in bed twice.

Making waves on Discord:

Juggling screen time is the ultimate multitasking Olympics.

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I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.

Therapy should be free and accessible because getting traumatized is free and accessible.

I’m cold! That’s not goose bumps anymore, that’s woodchip wallpaper.

Several of my internal organs hurt, but I’m 100% sure it’s not my body trying to tell me something.

A car window made specifically for a dog to stick its head out of is called a sunwoof.

My whole life just flashed before my eyes and there was way too much pizza.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

The trouble with living alone is that it’s always my turn to do the dishes.

Waiting for toast to toast takes forever unless you walk away for 10 seconds, then it burns.

A bird just flew into our glass door. Іt’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.

People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.

I am just a man, a man who told a woman to calm down, so I guess this is goodbye.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

For your own sanity, always take mixed signals as a no.

The most romantic minds of our time are being subjected to situationships.

Well, I’ve been depressed and poor, but sure, we’ll call it intermittent fasting.

Before we become friends, could you please sign this NDA.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

Cleaning your kid’s room will piss you off, cause why is my Airfryer in here?

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

There are two wolves inside me, but please no one tell my landlord.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Whoever came up with the name wallpaper really nailed it.

Just emerged from my Y2K bunker. Everybody okay?

Channeling my inner pretzel to achieve expert-level bad posture.

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

Fries, not lies.

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I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Therapy should be free and accessible because getting traumatized is free and accessible.

I’m cold! That’s not goose bumps anymore, that’s woodchip wallpaper.

Several of my internal organs hurt, but I’m 100% sure it’s not my body trying to tell me something.

A car window made specifically for a dog to stick its head out of is called a sunwoof.

My whole life just flashed before my eyes and there was way too much pizza.

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

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