10,000+ funny quotes 🤩

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

New funny quotes 👇

Funny coffee quotes ☕

  • People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the classic ‘just be yourself’ advice – because apparently, being a chaotic bundle of contradictions is exactly what the world needs more of! 🙃 Embrace the quirky, slightly off-kilter charm of being YOU – it’s not for everyone, but hey, who wants to be just like everyone else anyway? 😉✨”

  • Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly. Fly far, far away and also so I can poop on people.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the classic ‘bird’ request: asking for freedom, soaring high, and of course, a bit of mischief with the pooping privileges 💩🦅 Just remember, with great flying power comes great responsibility… and potentially messy consequences! Watch out below! 😄”

  • Hey babe, wanna come over and fold me like a fitted sheet?

    Commentary:
    “Sure thing, just make sure you come with a manual on how to fold you properly! 🤣🛏️ #FittedSheetStruggles”

  • I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

    Commentary:
    “Oh, the relatable struggles of the moon – forever hungry for attention and never satisfied! 🌕🍽️ It must be tough being up there, surrounded by all those tempting stars but never able to indulge in a midnight snack!”

  • When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the classic ‘joke rescue operation’ strategy! 🚨 When one-liners crash-land, deploy the backup puns for that extra turbo boost of laughter 😂. Who knew bombing could be so entertaining? 💣✨”

  • I took the road less traveled. Where am I?

    Commentary:
    “Taking the road less traveled seemed like a good idea… until I ended up in the middle of nowhere with no map and no WiFi signal. 🤷‍♂️ Maybe I should have taken the road with a Starbucks at the corner instead! ☕️🗺️”

  • To the tune of ‘Everybody Dance Now’: Himalayan Sea Salt

    Commentary:
    🎶 “Everybody dance now, to the rhythm of Himalayan Sea Salt! 💃🧂 Let those taste buds groove to the exotic beats of minerals from the highest peaks! 🏔️🌊 Who knew salt could be so fancy and fabulous? Just sprinkle a little hipness into your dishes and turn your kitchen into a culinary dance party! 🎉🍽️”

  • Might start a YouTube channel “will it hurt if I drop it on my foot”.

    Commentary:
    🤣🎥 “In the latest episode of ‘Will It Hurt If I Drop It On My Foot?’ – featuring all your favorite everyday objects – stay tuned to witness the thrilling moments of gravity vs. toes! Just remember to subscribe, like, and please don’t try this at home… unless you’ve got really sturdy shoes! 😂🦶 #YouTubeShenanigans”

  • Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.

    Commentary:
    “Before asking your friend for a loan, make sure you’re prepared to potentially lose both the money and the friend 🤔💰 Choose wisely, unless you enjoy some financial drama with a side of awkwardness! 😉”

  • Very disappointed to find out that the universal remote control I bought does not control the universe.

    Commentary:
    “Seems like the universal remote control is not so ‘universal’ after all! 🤷‍♂️🌌 Next time, aim for a model that comes with a galaxy-sized battery pack! 🔮😂”

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